Introducing Formula

I'm in the process of trying to wean Zara off breastfeeding. For her 1st year, the only milk she'd taken was just breast milk; except on the occasion when I was away for a week on business trip in May, and I didn't have enough stocked up for her consumption.

To start off, I tried to introduce her to formula on days when my milk supply was low. I got Tuyam to supplement her with 1 or 2 oz of formula (Enfalac) after she'd taken the expressed breast milk. According to Tuyam, she had tossed the bottle away in anger when she tasted the milk to be different, refusing to take any, and survived on whatever I could provide (i.e. 3oz on some days per feed).

Zara does have discerning taste. I'd tried the formula myself, and I find that it's absolutely yucky. Very strong iron taste, and so fake (chemical taste). I'm one who would like to know the taste of the food I put into Zara's mouth, so I'd also tasted my own breast milk. I have to say the taste of breastmilk is absolutely heavenly, it's creamy but with the right consistency and with a hint of sweetness. It's not something I can describe, you have to taste it yourself to know what I mean, but I know most would just turn their noses the other way even if it was something you produced (the husbands too would probably not want to taste their wives' milk).

The other day, I got a pack of of Enfagrow A+ (Honey) sample, and I thought this would probably taste better than the Enfalac. So I got Tuyam to start giving Zara some on days where I could only express less than 4oz per feed. Zara took this better than the Enfalac, according to Tuyam, which is good.

Today, while at home, Zara has been coming to me every 2 hours and asking for milk. "Huh Huh (her pronunciation for 'milk milk')! Huh Huh!" she had her head on my chest. One of my breasts was bitten by her 2 days back, and there's actually a cut, every time she nursed I had to bite my lips and endure the pain, as one of her teeth would just sink right into the wound, the feeling is exactly like rubbing salt to a wound. *ouch* I cringed every time she wanted to nurse.

When she asked for her 4th feed at lunch time, I just told her, "Mummy no more milk milk, you want bottle?" just to test the water. She didn't shake her head, but instead started chanting "Bottle! Bottle!" I quickly got Tuyam to sterilise her bottle and made her 2oz of formula, and then went into hiding. After 5 minutes, Tuyam came to tell me she'd finished the milk.

After lunch, she again came to me for milk (another cringe). I asked her if she wanted the bottle? Again, she didn't shake her head. This time, I made the formula instead, and tried feeding her, but she wouldn't take it from me. She just pushed the teat out every time I placed it in her mouth. After a few tries and she didn't suck on the bottle, I got Tuyam to feed her instead, and I sat next to them. She refused to take, and gave me that sheepish smile. I thought maybe I should again go into hiding. After Tuyam assured her a few times that I wasn't around and with her sticking out her head to scan the living room to confirm I wasn't around, she started sucking on the teat, and took another 2oz.

When I reappeared after she'd finished, she again had this sheepish smile, as though feeling embarrassed that she'd taken formula milk. Maybe she was worried it would hurt my feelings.

After this feed, the bottle trick won't work any more. Every time she wanted her feed and I said "you want bottle?" She just shook her head and started groping for my breasts. So I couldn't put off nursing her any longer, and just have to endure the pain *frown*, again, and again, and again(3 more feeds till she slept *ouch*).

On a happier note, I'm glad she'd started accepting formula, which means I could slowly wean her off now. This is my first step. The 2nd step is to prepare myself emotionally. Breastfeeding is a bond I have with her, will I be able to cope when we no longer share this bond?